Spiritual Holistic Health Guidance

Catching Up

It has been one hell of a busy week for me last week. I hardly had time to do anything. So many opportunities came flooding in, I just said yes to them all lol. When I say, "last week whooped my ass though, " it really did. I was so tired it wasn't funny. My lower body was so sore it wasn't funny. I missed out on like 2-3 days of meditation and missed an entire week of reporting on this blog here. I am finally able to now get back on track lol, I believe. So many things happening and changing. and I am welcoming it all. Last week at had the best experience ever. I was able to be somewhat open to someone who has good judgement and was 57 years old. She became a hair client of mine. She really gave me some good advice and opened me open to some things that I needed to hear. Then, I met another person who resonates with me so much and is a pisces. We both have 2 kids, boy and girl, both have our own businesses & have same goals in life upon what our purpose is. She is into spirituality and wants to dive deep into it with me. For once I was able to be myself and someone enjoyed my presence. I was able to release fear of rejection and judgement and truly be welcomed as who I am. This experience was just a HUGE breathe of fresh air and it felt so good to FEEL. YES, I tuned into how I felt afterwards when came back home because I wanted to feel the difference to KNOW the difference. I realized that if I cannot be like that around people, then they are not for me. I also have been noticing how GOD has been placing me around a lot of successful business woman that already have their company up and running. I started immediately networking. Hopefully, I land on the right one. Overall, I just have been so thankful and grateful of what has been happening lately and more so seeing and feeling the experience and its results. A shift in perception is finally happening and it FEELS DAMN GOOD! Good night you guys!

Yours Sincerely,

sassy syte seer

My Side of the Story

When I was a little girl, I grew a lot on Disney channel which I am sure a lot of you can relate. Disney Channel was literally my entire childhood. My parents grew me up on watching certain things that they felt was best for me. Disney Princesses & Warriors were the main thing I was mostly influenced by. Disney Channel back then was about resolution, lessons, life-related music, & love. My whole life as a little girl, LOVE was something that I desired so much. I would fantasize or imagine the perfect partner of love. I would watch so many movies and tv shows related to love and happily ever after. When I was little I was conceited, too smart for my age, independent, creative, funny, silly, outgoing, free-spirited, and I always spoke my mind. My mom made sure I always had a VOICE. I can truly say I appreciate her for these qualities, but love was something that was openly and tenderly shared within my childhood. I came from a huge family of pain, anger, addictions, health ailments and hurt. Past traumas, generational curses, etc. Not saying that my family is all bad because no family is perfect and I have some wonderful moments of family, but that TOUGH LOVE was the ruler of my familiar family and home. I grew up under strict rules and was pressured to always do good in school or otherwise, I was in trouble. So much that one day, I got a C in a class on my report card and went home crying, telling my friends as they kept asking me why I was crying, because I was going to get in trouble. I did not but a C or anything below it was unacceptable. As a 29-year-old adult, I realize the tender love I sought to find, I truly desired it from within my home, my family. When I felt like I was not receiving this, I turned to other places. Sometimes, I was fortunate... most of the times I was not in seeking love. Since I was 9 years old all the way to 28, I had gone through so much in my life that made me feel unloved, misunderstood, angry, resentful, and more due to my experiences with family, friends, strangers, companions, and even my own mistakes. I have been bullied; mentally, verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abused, betrayed, homeless, and physically worn down by family, friends, strangers, and companions. I have been sexually taken advantage of, pulled a gun on by a companion, stolen from, cheated on several times, near death 5xs, attempt of suicide 3xs (slicing my wrists, pills, & hanging myself), placed in jail 3xs, used and lied to. I have ran away from home as a teenager 3xs and have been put out 2xs. There were so many times I would break down on my knees and cry," Why God? Why am I here? Why was I born? Why you have go through all this? What is wrong with me? Why is everyone like this to me?" Times where I rebelled and walked away from God because I felt forsaken. I felt like if I could not get love, the love I see in the movies, tv shows, or even in some friend's.... what was the point. So many times, my mind went into darkness because of the trauma I have been through. Anger grew so strong within my heart over time which led to pain. Family judge me, friends misunderstand me, or companions get what they want out of me and leave me with nothing. WHERE DID I HAVE TO TURN? I have always felt alone. Alone in what I deal with, alone in my relationships, alone in my head, and I feel deep inside I will be alone. This became a fear for me. Slowly I started mentally losing my shit silently until triggered. All that I have experienced has left me with the conditions of anxiety, depression, PPD (paranoia personality disorder), anger, resentment, weak heart (heart issues), hyperventilation and bodily malfunctions such as back problems, shoulder problems, & migraines that pass me out. However, I am not perfect because when I actually had good people in my life; I could not separate who truly loved me and who did not because I was so used to no LOVE, used to pain. Eventually down the line, the darkness had entered so far in, I BECAME the monsters that made me. I lost sight of who I was and did not care for my existence. I stopped taking care of me, inside and out, the way I loved to. Everything within my past traumas that I experienced..... I started doing. Sometimes, I would not know this was what I was doing or where I got it from because of black-outs. When people crossed me whether they meant to or not, I would get offended and hurt them mentally, emotionally, physically, verbally, and spiritually. At this point it was like, NOW I really do not deserve to be here because I am hurting the people that love me or even hurting the people that do not mean to hurt me because they have problems too. It was like no matter what I was trying to build within my heart, it kept FAILING! But I NEVER GAVE UP!!!! I kept fighting and I kept experiencing problems and facing demons that I did not know if I was strong enough to face. I put a front up of how hard my armor is because it is what people expected of me but inside I BLED like everyone else. I was just willing to take more blows. This is when I found the path of spirituality by 2016. I was just fresh new to it before it became so viral today. Spirituality taught me one of the biggest rules that I think changed my perception. It taught me to only take action in what you can control and release what you cannot. This RAN WITH ME. Over time, I experienced things but started collecting wisdom and learning from my mistakes. I started making better decisions and transitioning my behaviour on my own. To this day I meditate, do yoga, breathing exercises, tai chi and more to have control over me, emotionally. I started taking back control over my life and HERE I AM! I am a holistic health practitioner because I understand how our health (mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically, environmentally, & sexually) is truly vital in desiring to live an abundant and happy life. How certain ailments take control of our lives and how id we do not release trauma ... these ailments can form in the ways of diseases, illnesses, and disorders within the body. I saw how these things affected my loved ones and me in our lives. How some of us are unaware of our health in these ways which has a part in control over our lives. I am a certified psychologist because I understand that through these pillars of life (mental, emotional, social, sexual, physical, environmental & spiritual), it starts from the brain which is the center piece (motherboard) of our nervous system. Our nervous system is our response mechanism in which sends signals to the brain, waiting for command. Sometimes, we have gone through so much in our lives we respond unaware of how we are responding. This is much like what a doctor calls a 'natural reaction.' The brain and nervous system have natural reactions as well. I desire to break the conditioning of our minds from trauma experience, rigid living conditions or negative influences. I have my own website with my very own organic holistic healthcare products that are effective for certain mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual ailments or environmental aura issues. I have produced my own brand of organic perfume for hygiene as a part of holistic health, self-love and self-care. I am an entrepreneur and continuing to build. I can say, I am finding LOVE within myself now. I am doing what makes me happy and what I have been called to do whether I have love and support earthly or not. I realize now that GOD never forsaken me but molded me to be who I needed to be. That everything I had gone through and done, BROUGHT ME HERE TO THIS MOMENT! Because of my studies, I have learned to release most of my conditioning and to continue to love myself effortlessly and unconditionally. I have learned to stop blaming and pinpointing fingers. I have stopped asking why and started asking HOW. How do I get over this? How does this make me feel? How should I go about things in a way that benefits me and others? How did I act/respond towards others? How did others act/respond towards me? How will I make a way to stand out since i have never felt like I fit in the crowd? How do I overlook being misunderstood or rejected? I did/have not give/gave up on ME and always kept fighting. I now know the answer all along is.... ME! Does not mean I will not have my ups and downs, but that I KNOW WHO I AM, WHAT MATTERS, AND WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF NOW! I am that princess and warrior, when I was younger, I imagined myself to be.

She just wants to be, beautiful She goes, unnoticed she knows, no limits She craves, attention she praises, an image She prays to be, sculpted by the sculptor

Oh, she don't see, the light that's shining Deeper than the eyes can find it Maybe we have made her blind So she tries to cover up her pain And cut her woes away 'Cause covergirls don't cry After their face is made

But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark You should know you're beautiful just the way you are And you don't have to change a thing The world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful We're stars and we're beautiful

-alessia cara 'scars are beautiful'

~SINCERELY YOURS,

sassy syte seer